Slow down momma, you are doing great job

 

Today is Mother’s Day and one of my first blog posts!  I was going to wait to write my first post, because I felt like I needed to make sure my first topic was the perfect introduction to my life story.  However, as usual, something else sparked an idea for me to write about.  And what better day to post than on Mother’s Day?  I got the idea to go ahead and make a post because of how my Mother’s Day morning started off.  Which is what got me thinking, what will I remember from my Mother’s Day?  Will it be the fit thrown because one day of the year I wanted my 5 year old (Kk) to wear her Sun San sandals and not her Chacos to church?  Or leaving my debit card at home and making us 30 more minutes late for church because we HAD to have donut holes?  I am 5 months pregnant, so I wasn’t opposing the donut hole idea.  However, we were still not going to be on time.  With us being late, Kk had to go into big church with me.  Didn’t listen to one single thing I said, she actually did the total opposite of anything I asked her to do.  So far so good for a Mother’s Day.  Thankfully, my husband called me on our way to church and told me how thankful he was for me and Happy Mother’s Day and everything else he could think of.  At least he made me feel like I was doing something right in this life.  Because Kk didn’t think so.  Wearing those sandals was clearly ruining her life and I was the cause of it.  Sometimes I think the battle just isn’t worth fighting and I let her wear what she wants.  But this ONE day, I wanted her to wear sandals and not Chacos. And she made sure to let me know she was NOT happy about it for the rest of the day.  Then we go to get my 9 month old from her sunday school class.  She screams as soon as I get her from my mother in law.  She literally has never done that to me, but you can bet your britches she did it on Mother’s Day, today.  Then Kk wanted to ride with her Mimi (my mother in law) to go eat mexican after church.  Asking her to ride with me was another mistake.  Fit #2.  So here we are in my car, it’s blazing hot and you can barely breath the minute you open my car door. She is complaining about how hot it is.  Like my car is the only one that sits in the sun for the hour we are in church or something. I didn’t know if I wanted to cry or scream.  I chose to cry a little bit.  That very moment all I could think of was how terrible of a job I am doing at being a mom.  Neither of my girls wanted to be around me.  I ruined one’s life because of shoes and my car is the hottest car on the planet.  Of all days, why couldn’t just this one go right?

Then I started to think about it.  What was I expecting?  Without all of these little mishaps, I wouldn’t have a Mother’s Day to remember and learn from.  I needed to be still.  I needed to remember why I love being a momma so much.  That includes the good and the bad days.  Kids have bad days too.  Some of their bad days just so happen to fall on Mother’s Day and every other holiday

But what can we do?  Embrace it.  Learn from it.  Maybe I should have just let her wear her Chaco’s this morning, even though they would completely mess up pictures. Guess what?  We didn’t even get a family picture after church anyway!  Kk was mad and Harper pooped in her diaper and did not want anyone holding her but her Mimi. I knew what I was setting myself up for when I insisted that she wear the sandals.  I tried so hard to make one day go so well, it ended up being a nightmare and not a single thing went the way I planned.  Last sunday, we had a wonderful day.  But what was different?  I didn’t let small things cause melt downs or insist on doing something my way.  She essentially just wanted to do something her way too, so what was the real difference?  There’s not one.  (As we speak, she is wearing her Chacos with her dress and is as happy as can be.)  Simple. As. That.

So what is the moral of my story?  LET THE CHILD WEAR CHACOS.  Haha, not really, but it is definitely something to consider for next Mother’s Day.  Don’t fret over the small stuff.  Be still.  Let your babies be the constant reminder of how truly amazing our God is.  He hand picked us to be their mommas.  That is pretty powerful if you think about it.  He knew I was capable of handling the melt downs. My devotional last night talked about being finding the blessing in our frustrations as a momma.  The sleepless nights, shrill cries, tantrums, and just plain old bad days can be tiresome.  And are sure to make a momma irritable.  But instead of focusing on the negative, we should find the blessing in it.  Shrill cries at 2 am mean we have a precious baby to tend to.  That same baby made our heart melt the minute we held her.  So don’t suffer through the tough spots of motherhood, keep sailing right through them.  Remember the blessings.  When we start to think that way, we are able to change the focus of our heart.  Not on frustrations, but blessings.

Notice the Chacos and the smile. Didn’t get my after church picture, but this will do! 🙂

Being a momma is simply amazing.  Being a momma without her momma on Mother’s Day is kind of tough.  No matter how old you get, a girl still wants her momma.  Maybe I was already on edge a little because my momma was heavy on my heart this morning.  So I tried to overcompensate for my sadness by making today go smooth and perfect.  You know, like what you see every other perfect mom on the planet post on Facebook.  But what if their morning failure was posted with their perfect pictures?  Then you be praising that another kid was making a momma crazy too, and that you aren’t the only one!  I remember when my mom was still alive, my little brother and I always surprised her with sugar cookies layered with THICK pink icing from Walmart.  They were absolutely disgusting in my opinion, but my mom could sit and eat the entire little plastic container during one episode of Law & Order.  But they made her happy, and on Mother’s Day, it is the one day of the year that we went out of our way to make her smile.  My sweet momma deserved a year dedicated to her, but they chose to let Mother’s Day only last for 24 hours.  She would have been happy with anything we gave her and I never understood that.  Until now.  Now I get it.  The power and meaning of simplicity.  Nothing about motherhood is simple.  She tried so hard to make us happy and keep us close.  She never over did it or forced us to wear and do certain things because it was Mother’s Day.  Maybe that is why we tried even harder, because she didn’t expect the world from us, she just wanted us and our love and our time.  And that is what it is all about.  The simple things, the time spent together, the messy hands, the mismatched outfits to make a family picture one to remember, and the crazy mornings.

My sweet Kk is a mess.  She may be a handful but she can sure be sweet when she wants to be despite the morning we had.  Last night, we were on our way home from getting her a fidget spinner.  She said, “Mommy, most kids get their mommies something really nice for Mother’s Day, and I can’t get you anything nice.”  It made my heart melt.  She actually worried if I had something nice on Mother’s Day.  I tried to explain that waking up to her is the best gift I could ask for.  Her presence and her little Jesus lovin’ heart are enough for me.  My 9 month old doesn’t have any idea what is going on, just as long as she is fed and held.  Once we got home last night, she went into her room for about 30 minutes.  She kept peeking her head out and telling me not to come in her room.  Usually that means she has taken something into her room that she isn’t supposed to have, and I go in there anyway.  But last night, I didn’t.  She eventually walked out and brought me a piece of paper from one of my husband’s Ford notebook pads.  She had written “love Best mommy” and decorated it with pieces of ribbons and glued on stickers.  It was the single most precious thing I had seen.  Not to mention what she made for me at school for Mother’s Day.  Sometimes I feel like I am completely failing as a momma, hence the morning we had.  No matter what I say or do, it seems like all of my efforts to raise her right go out the window.  Then I get artwork and special little gifts that make me wonder what I ever did so right for God to give me her!  She may be a handful most of the time, but she always brings me back to reality when I feel like I am failing.  She always reminds me that I am being a good momma and “she loves me more than her toys.”

I recently finished a book called “Grace, Not Perfection.”  If you like to read, this momma is AMAZING!  She really breaks it down for you on how to embrace this season of life with children.  I am not the only one that has hectic days!  I had to remind myself this morning that it is okay, I am not failing.  I am a momma and unfortunately there is no “how to” guide with kids.  But if there was, would we even read it on the good days?  No.  We would only read it on the days that we feel like we have no idea what we are doing.  Sometimes I do that with my prayer life.  I put it on hold until I am falling apart and expect God to just say “Okay, here’s what you need to do…” Clearly, that works out as well for me as trying to get Kk to wear sandals instead of Chacos to church.  God doesn’t just want us one day a week when we are having a melt down.  He wants a relationship with us, every single day.  Whether we are making parenting look easy or we are wanting to crawl under the bed with the stale cheetos and puffs to hibernate until parenting gets easier.  There isn’t a single situation that we can’t learn from.  This morning I felt like I was going to fall apart.  Now, I am thankful for the crazy morning we had.  It made me put things into perspective and see what was really going on in my heart.  My heart was hurting a little and being a momma almost felt impossible this morning.  But I didn’t slow down long enough to even realize it.  I didn’t slow down enough to embrace the fact that I have two beautiful little girls that give me the opportunity to be a momma.  That means more to me than what shoes she wears.  Being their momma is hands down the best thing that ever happened to me.  I choose to be still.  I choose to savor every single moment I get and I hope you do too!

Then I got home with a surprise on our doorstep.  My sweet husband had flowers and chocolate delivered.  He’s over 1,000 miles away working and he made me realize how truly blessed I am.  Crazy mornings and hot cars can’t break this momma!

So slow down momma, you are doing a great job.  Perfection doesn’t exist, but grace does. Happy Mother’s Day!

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